Ah July. Normally a month full of celebrations (my birthday, wedding anniversary, and Matt’s birthday), this year was a month of meh. The summer of meh. That’s where I’m at. Despite not getting to truly celebrate, I did some shit during July, here are the highlights.
Disney Plus releasing Hamilton is probably the best thing that’s happened to me since quarantine started. An absolute gift.
My latest quarantine obsession, gardening, kicked off in July. These were some of the first little sprouts that popped up for me, now they’re much bigger!
Maybe the best thing about quarantine is I can post selfies whenever I want because my face is covered by a mask and sunglasses anytime I leave the house. I guess my favorite kind of selfie is the one where you can’t really see my face!
I am lifelong BSC fan so I was so excited to watch the new series on Netflix. It totally blew me away with its awesome wholesomeness and I loved every second of it.
Look! Progress! I planted my little babies out in their permanent home and they have continued to grow, despite the gross heatwave we’ve been having here lately.
For some reason, I continue to turn the calendar pages, even though each month remains as blank as the one before it. Although I guess this is slightly less depressing than when each month just had a bunch of plans crossed out because they were all cancelled. Honestly, I don’t know which is worse.
I can’t really say I had a terrible birthday month because we made the best of it, and above all, we are healthy and safe, with a place to live and food on the table. I know it could be so much worse. But here’s hoping birthday number thirty-eight is a little bit brighter than this one!
Well, July was definitely the weirdest birthday month I’ve ever had, but all things considered, I guess it could have been much worse. Honestly, all the months are starting to blend together at this point, and it seems strange to think about what we would have been doing during a “normal” July. Because what the fuck is normal nowadays? Who knows. Here’s what went down in July:
On the goals front: I actually managed to hit all of my goals, aside from staying sane, which was sort of written in jest, but also not really. And yes, obviously I am literally still sane, but this month was rough and my mental health definitely took a few hits. I had some real bad days in there. I survived, but I probably need to be a little more proactive on the mental self care front this month.
On the reading front: I made it through seventeen books in July, which is actually a little lower than average, but given the density of some of them, I’m giving myself a pass. You can find all of my book reviews at Coffee Books Wine Repeat, and you can read my anti-racism reviews here. In July I reviewed Good Talk and The New Jim Crow.
On the writing front: I actually had a fantastic month in terms of writing. I wrote about 60k words of my new contemporary romance and overall, I’m really happy with the progress I made there. I’m hoping to have the first draft finished by the end of this month and then it’s revisions, revisions, revisions!
On the movie front: I didn’t watch a ton of new movies in July, mostly because I was lazy and watching a lot of Real Housewives of Potomac (not sorry!). But of course I had to give my thoughts on Hamilton on Disney Plus which was probably the highlight of the month. I also really enjoyed The Old Guard on Netflix, and after a dude bro decided to mansplain the rom com to Twitter, I put together this list of totally smart rom coms you can watch right now.
On the self care front: Yeah, didn’t do so great here. I will be making more of an effort this month, and since “school” starts next week, I think being back on a somewhat regular schedule will help. I need some routine and structure if I’m not going to be able to leave the damn house.
So despite my birthday, Matt’s birthday, and our ninth wedding anniversary, the month in general felt a little blah. But don’t all the months feel that way these days? Maybe send me your best self care quarantine tips, friends.
Continuing on with my list of anti-racist readings, I have a feeling things are going to get more and more intense. Previously, the books I’ve read were introductions and memoirs, laying the foundation and giving personal insight. Today’s read really took things to another level for me.
The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander, originally published in 2010, is a look at how the War on Drugs and the school to prison pipeline have essentially created an acceptable form of slavery and segregation. The book clearly lays out facts and statistics which, to a thoughtful observer, make it undeniable that people of color, specifically Black men, have been targeted in this “new” system. One of Alexander’s main supporting points as to why this new system was developed to look “race neutral” is because is it’s unacceptable in our modern society to admit to wanting segregation. But this book was written ten years ago, and a few days ago Donald Trump tweeted this:
So clearly, given the events of the past four years, plenty of Americans feel they can be out and proud with their racism. There’s no need to hide it if the president doesn’t right?
The new acceptance of racism, however, doesn’t change the fact that the “justice” system we currently have in place in unequivocally racist. And the ripple effects the system has had on society are innumerable. Honestly, I’m not going to go into too many details about the topics of the book itself, because you need to read it, see it in black and white to feel the full impact. I can’t tell you how many times my jaw just dropped open.
Just to be real clear to any conservatives who might be stumbling on this post (not sure how you landed here, but I hope you take the time to actually read first this post and then this book), every president from Reagan on is mentioned in this book, all of whom have played active roles in the continuation of these policies. Yes, even Obama. So this is not a Republican bashing book, it’s a systemic racism wake up call book.
The only thing I wish this book would have included more of is how we go about making changes to this system, because dismantling a justice system that has been in place for forty years is obviously not going to be easy and is not going to happen overnight. I will be spending some time over the next couple of weeks doing some research on this and trying to figure out where my time and resources can be most effective, and I will of course share this information with you.
One final thing that I would really urge everyone to think about whether you read this book or not. In the 1980’s the War on Drugs claimed to target crack. Politicians and the media painted a violent picture of drugs and crime and spent millions of dollars creating this “war”. Even though crack/cocaine use is spread evenly among all races, Black men and Latino men were the targets of this war. Today we are in the middle of an “Opioid Crisis”. White people are by far more likely to overdose on opiates than other races. So when the offenders are perceived to be people of color, the government starts a war, locking people up for first offenses, labeling them as felons for the rest of their lives. When the offenders are white, it’s a health crisis and millions of dollars are poured into treatment and prevention. It’s not hard to put the pieces together and understand why these two similar drugs have been handled so differently.
Everyone should read this book, thoughtfully, and with an open mind.
The countdown is on! Real Housewives of Potomac (RHOP) premieres this Sunday on Bravo and I AM SO EXCITED. Potomac has become one of my favorite franchises over the years and in these sad times, I need this drama in my life. Originally, RHOP was supposed to premiere in May, but once it became clear shooting would be delayed for all Bravo reality shows, they made the decision to hold onto it for a few more months. Which at the time was devastating, but now I’m just excited to have these women back on my screen. What makes RHOP my favorite franchise city? Let’s discuss.
I hate to base my opinions of women in any part on how they look. But facts are facts, and overall, RHOP has the most attractive cast (in my opinion). These women are stunning and even if they produced a boring episode (which they don’t) at least they would look good doing it.
The RHOP cast also skews younger than most of the other franchises. With Ashley, Monique, and Candiace representing the millennial voice, I am here for it. Some of the other cities are starting to introduce younger cast members, but I like that these three have already been around for a while.
RHOP brings us some of my favorite house husbands, and my absolute least favorite house husband. Juan Dixon is up there at the top of the list when it comes to hottest house husbands. I also really like both of the Chrises. Chris Samuels (while a little stuck in the past when it comes to gender roles) seems like an ultimately supremely caring husband and father. Chris Bassett might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I think he is good for Candiace, and I like their balance together. And of course, the worst house husband in the history of Bravo is by far Michael Darby. The man is scum and I hope if he returns to filming it’s purely so we can see him get what’s coming to him.
The editors of RHOP deserve a raise. They are the kings and queens of the tease and then the “five days earlier” treatment and I am here for it every single time. Seriously, season four in particular, has some of the best editing I’ve ever seen in housewives history.
I can watch this city on repeat and never be bored. I cycled through the first four seasons in preparation for the season five premiere, and finished way too early because I just couldn’t stop watching. I went back to some of my other favorite cities’ past seasons, but none of them could keep my interest. So I’m currently rewatching RHOP season four. Again.
The drama is real. There’s none of the scripted BS we’re seeing on some of the other shows (*cough* RHOBH *cough*). These women do not hold back. They get messy and I love every second of it.
If you have yet to experience the wonder that is RHOP, you have a few days to binge seasons one through four in preparation for the season five premiere. If you don’t have time for all of them, just watch four and thank me later. Who else is a RHOP stan? Let me know so we can talk drama!
You know what I so LOVE. When a white man with little to no experience in a particular subject barges through the door and says he’s going to revolutionize this thing he knows nothing about because he has all the power of being a white man. Barf. Recently, Dave Franco gave an interview about how he and Alison Brie have written a rom com together. But not just any rom com guys-a “smart” one. First of all, fuck of with this hot take. Second, by labeling your own rom com (something you know nothing about) as “smart” what you’re really saying is all the rest of them are dumb. And you can fuck off with that hot take too because your face is dumb, Dave Franco. Why is it that men are constantly trying to take the romance genre, whether in movies or in books, and “elevate” it. It’s already elevated assholes, and we don’t need your help to make the genre “smart”. Dave references Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally as his two road markers for success, which tells me two things. One, he wants to be Nora Ephron and like who doesn’t Dave, get in line. And two, Dave hasn’t watched a rom com in thirty years. So while we all wait on the edge of our seats for Dave’s groundbreaking rom com, let’s take a look at six recent rom coms (from the last three years) that are smart as fuck.
So I’ve been working on growing my new flower garden for about a month now, and I still really have no idea what I’m actually doing, but it has been cool to see how things progress, and I’ve actually learned a lot as I experiment and try to find what works best. And for the record, because I live in a pretty mild (temperature wise) part of Southern California, I am paying zero attention as to when is the best time to actually plant things. I’m assuming since I live with mostly year round sunshine and don’t have to worry about things like frost, that my garden will do okay no matter what the time of year. I have yet to support this hypothesis with hard evidence, but I’m still going with it. If you, like me, are thinking about giving gardening a shot, here are some things I’ve learned so far:
Write everything down: I recently started a gardening notebook (which is truly how you know I’ve veered into obsession territory) because I can’t remember anything these days. I wish I had take the time in the beginning to write down what seeds I planted and when, when I saw the first sprout, and when I moved the seeds from their inside growing cups to the flower bed in my yard. Every seed has a different germination time, and it would have been helpful to have those first dates available (but I will from now on!).
Don’t plant all your seeds in one basket: I got some dahlia seeds in my first batch and I was super stoked to plant them, but I attempted to germinate all of them at once, and most of them didn’t take. I think I over-watered and they didn’t get enough sunlight, and I wish I would have left some extras to plant once I figured out their best conditions. I learned my lesson and now am germinating only half of new seeds when I get them so I can experiment a little and see what they like.
Impatient? Try zinnias!: Zinnias have far and away been the easiest and most plentiful of the varieties I’ve tried. They sprouted within a couple of days, stayed strong, and have been doing well outside in their new home. No blooms yet, but these have definitely been the most rewarding in terms of seeing quick progress.
Composting is your friend: We started just a small coffee can of compost, tossing in our coffee grounds, eggshells, banana peels, and apple cores (minus the seeds) and it has been great. It’s super easy to do, we just collect everything in the coffee can each day and dump it out in the flower bed in the yard once it gets full. It’s basically free fertilizer and it takes almost zero effort to manage.
Patience is a virtue: And one I don’t normally possess. However, it’s a must with gardening as it is going to be weeks, and even months before you really see the fruits of your labor. But it’s a long-term project, and if you go into it with the right mindset, you’ll be okay. I’m like the least patient person on the planet, and it gets frustrating sometimes, but I’m still having fun observing the small changes each day.
I’m still open for any and all of your gardening tips! Hit me with your best!
As promised, I want to continue to provide reviews for the books I recommended as the kind of bare minimum requirement for what we can do as white people in America. I want to reiterate again and again that reading a book is not enough. It’s the bare minimum. Hopefully it’s the kicking off point for concrete actions, so please don’t think you can read a few books and be suddenly free of racism. That’s not how this works. A couple weeks ago, I reviewed White Fragility and So You Wanna Talk About Race, but the book I want to share with you today is completely different. Good Talk is a memoir, told as a graphic novel, and this isn’t so much about learning history or studying the facets of systemic racism, it’s just a real look at the life of a woman of color in America.
Mira is Indian-American. Her parents are immigrants and Mira and her younger brother were raised in New Mexico. Mira eventually moves to New York to be a writer, and ends up marrying a white Jewish man and having a son. The book details many of the conversations Mira and her son have about race and racism, some light-hearted, some more serious. The book also shows us what it was like in New York after 9/11, and how Mira and her husband dealt with his parents, who voted for Trump, and the many familial issues stemming from that. I’ll admit to not being a huge fan of graphic novels, but something about this story being told in this format really hit home for me.
I loved so many things about this book. Mira’s son is similar in age to mine, so as she was relaying some of these conversations, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at how universally bananas conversations with six year olds can be. We’ve been having lots of chats with Squirt about race and they are challenging, but never for the reason you would think. He understands the basic concepts of equity and fairness and discrimination very well, but his mind tends to jump around to a thousand different non-sequiturs. In one of the first conversations Mira and her son have about race, he keeps trying to tell her knock knock jokes and, well, the relatability is real. I also really enjoyed the discussion about her husband’s parents and the struggle with them not understanding how their vote for Trump felt like a personal slight. I know that has been one of the hardest things for many people over the past few years, reconciling with friends and family members who can’t (or don’t want to) understand how harmful their vote was.
Reading this book was, almost more than anything for me, about the enjoyment of the experience. I laughed out loud. I cried. It made me think. I think a lot of times, especially now, people are looking at book recommendations and seeing a daunting pile of 500 page tomes-and you should definitely read those-but it’s just as important to just read a different perspective. It doesn’t have to be a to do list of actionable items (though again, read those too), it can be a book that gives you insight into what it is like for someone other than yourself. This is a book I will read again and again, because it hit my emotions and it was beautifully written.
