Monday Movie Review: Eclipse
Here we are again folks, back for another revisit of the cinematic masterpiece that is the Twilight Saga. I’ve already watched Twilight and New Moon, which means today we will focus on the enigmatic Eclipse. Eclipse is weird because it’s probably the best book, but since the Breaking Dawn movies were like eff Stephenie Meyer’s ending and went with their own, part two probably ends up being the best movie. And I feel like I at least have seen Eclipse was less often than I have the others. Which again is weird, because story wise, it might be the most complete. Will I ever understand the enigma wrapped in sparkles that is Twilight? Probably not. So here we go, thoughts on Eclipse:
This opening is VERY dramatic and like quite a bit darker than the other movies. You might think you were watching a horror movie with all the rain and darkness and blood sucking.
After the title card, we open on Edward and Bella living their best lives in a field of flowers, as one does. Bella is spouting off more totally obvious literary metaphor by reciting “Fire and Ice”. Gee, I wonder who that could relate to since this whole movie is about Bella being caught between her cold blooded vampire boyfriend and her best friend teen werewolf who just happens to run hot. Super subtle.
Maybe the biggest travesty of this movie is Kristen Stewart’s wig. It’s just bad.
No big surprise here, but Charlie and Anna Kendrick remain the absolute best parts of these movies. Like it’s not even close.
Super cool of the 109 year old boyfriend to tell his eighteen year old girlfriend (who he keeps begging to marry him) that she’s not allowed to hang out with her friends. Not weird or controlling behavior at all.
Jacob is suuuuuupppper broody in this one so it’s only fitting we see him in a tight black T-shirt, driving his motorcycle in his first appearance in the film. So much teen angst.
The two best lines of the entire series are both in this movie, and it might be worth a rewatch just to see them both.
We see a couple of origin stories in this movie that might be more interesting than the original books. The third wife, who sacrifices herself so the wolf can take down the cold one who murdered everyone in her town is one that I’d be interested to see more of, but the most interesting one is Rosalie’s. How badass would it be to have a book series about a woman in the 1930’s who was attacked and comes back as a vamp in a wedding dress and she just stalks around town taking out dudes who hurt women. Someone write that for me please.
Say what you will, but I’m actually kind of into Jessica’s graduation speech. I’ve definitely heard worse.
I love a good training montage, but I definitely could have skipped the sex talk with dad scene.
You know I blame the writing and not the acting for the god awfulness of these movies, and I think it speaks volumes of the female character SM wrote that the best scene in the entire franchise takes place while Bella is asleep. Jacob and Edward in the tent the night before the attack is some of the best dialogue and best characterization we see. Such a missed opportunity with Bella as a whole, but it was nice to see some actual character development.
Oh but guys, it’s cool, Bella actually IS a feminist despite everything because she plans on hyphenating her last name (pretty sure she doesn’t actually do that in the next movie when she gets married at eighteen).
Even though the final fight scene of this movie is probably one of the better climax scenes in this series, there’s still a lot of weird stuff going on. Bella asking Jacob to kiss her and Edward having no problem with it is just weird. Why doesn’t Bella have a jacket on in the middle of the snow? Why does Edward goad Victoria when it leaves Bella vulnerable to attack, something he proclaims he will never allow? There are choices made that are strange.
But don’t worry because in the end, Bella finally accepts Edward’s proposal and sets a wedding date and slides a bigass ring on her finger. Did I mention she’s EIGHTEEN?
Tune in next week for the penultimate movie as I dive into Breaking Dawn Part One.
